The Boss......

The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open.

His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?' The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question.

As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up. He then understood his assistant's question about his 'garage door.'

He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, 'When my garage door was open, did you see my Hummer parked in there?'

She smiled and said, 'No, I didn't. All I saw was an old mini vanwith two flat tires.'

Dinner with girlfriend

A young man goes into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist,
"Hello, could you give me condom.
I'm going to my girlfriends for dinner and I think I may be in with a chance!"

The pharmacist gives him the condom and as the young man is going out;
he returns and says, "Give me another condom because my girlfriend's sister is very cute too.

She always crosses her legs in a provocative manner when she sees me and
I think I might strike it lucky there too."

The pharmacist gives him a second condom and
as the boy is leaving he turns back and says,
"Go on, give me one more condom because my girlfriend's mum is still pretty cute and
when she sees me she always makes eyes,
and since she invited me for dinner,
I think she is expecting me to make a move!

During dinner, the young man is sitting with his girlfriend on his left,
the sister on his right and the mum facing him.

When the dad gets there,
the boy lowers his head and starts praying,
"Dear Lord, bless this dinner and thank you for all you give us".
A minute later the boy is still praying;

"Thank you Lord for your kindness."

Ten minutes go by and the boy is still praying, keeping his head down.
The others look at each other surprised and
his girlfriend is even more surprised than the others.
She gets close to the boy and says in his ear, "I didn't know you were so religious."

The boy replies, "I didn't know your dad was a pharmacist!"